Trying to Get my Mojo Back

Hello my friends.  I’m in a funk.  I’ve been trying hard to get out of it, but it seems so difficult.  There are so many happy, exciting things happening in my life right now!  The biggest thing is that we are building a new home!  Exciting, but stressful at the same time.  All the design work is done, and now we’re just waiting for the shovels to hit the dirt.  It should be this week some time.

The thing that seems to have put me into a funk is my health.  It’s nothing serious, or at least that’s what they tell me.  Long story short – on May 11 – I had a stomach/intestinal virus for a day, which turned into chest pain, accompanied by other symptoms that pointed to heart attack.  Scary.  Ambulance.  Hospital admittance.  Tests.  I have a main artery that is 40-50% blocked, but that’s not the source of the pain.  Just something to watch.  They suspect pericarditis – which is an inflammation of the lining of my heart.  Discharged from hospital with 5 new medications.  Chest pain continues for a week.  Another ambulance trip to ER.  Still no definitive diagnosis. Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy they have ruled out all the serious stuff.  I’ve seen my family doctor a couple of times since, but he doesn’t even have the report from my hospital admission yet, so he is just guessing why the chest pain doesn’t seem to be going away.  If it is pericarditis, it can take up to three months to recover.  I’m now waiting to be seen by the Cardiac Rehab team.  In the meantime, I’m trying to get active again.  I’ve been going for walks/light jogs.  Some days it feels good, others not so much.  I’ve lost all the muscle tone in my legs.  I can’t play tennis.  So, I’m in a funk.

I have all the time in the world to do art, but have no mojo.  I watch art videos.  I nap.  A take a walk.  I want to work out.  I want to play tennis.  I can’t.  It sucks.  I thought maybe a blog post might help, you know….putting it out there.  We’ll see what happens.

I’m trying to be grateful.  I AM GRATEFUL.  I don’t have cancer.  My heart is pretty healthy.  Life is good.  I have a healthy, supportive husband who has been my rock through all of this.

Where oh where is my Mojo?


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Christine
    Jun 09, 2014 @ 11:28:47

    Nothing ever works the same for everyone, but a strategy I use when I have no creativity to be found is to ‘copy’ someone else’s project, a lesson or a piece that I like the look of. Before you know it, I am diverging from what they did, and striking out on my own. Only thing is, you need to find the ooomph to decide to start something. With that, we are all on our own. Wishing you the best, Christine


  2. Kim Gnagy
    Jun 09, 2014 @ 13:27:44

    So sorry to hear that! But you are right, blessing abound – it didn’t happen on you fabulous Australian vacation, and more importantly, they’ve ruled out the more serious stuff AND they found the blockage that they can now watch before it became a heart attack! Yay You! I, for one have missed your blog so it is nice to hear from you but am so sorry for your troubles. You pray for health and mojo and i will, too. But do rest and take care of yourself.


  3. Pearl Smets
    Jun 09, 2014 @ 14:33:43

    Kim very much strong wishes from me.
    That mojo will come back, i know I had the same. You know I think that my love was died. That was 29 jan. 2014. I had a very hard time.
    What I have done? I have gone to the library and have take all the books intuitative what I came acrose. Than I set on the couth and read everything.
    I did that also intuitief and I fund su much new things.
    That’s is helping me to take action and i studie’d alot new things that became a new drive for my mojo.

    Lots of Greetings and a hugh,

    Pearl (Helmie )


  4. Linda
    Jun 09, 2014 @ 19:20:28

    Hey Kim, So sorry to hear you have been experiencing some scary health issues. So glad the “major” things have been ruled out…tho I’m sure the uncertainty is driving you nuts. Chronic health issues are annoying, depressing and quite simply a pain in the ass! All of those things zap your energy, your positivity and your mojo. So for what it’s worth, I sympathize and understand. All I can say is I’m cheering you on sistah!
    As for finding your mojo again…sometimes JUST DOING SOMETHING is what it takes. The longer you wait for inspiration or the right mood or the energy, the harder it takes to get back on the horse. Baby steps may be what you need right now….doodle some stuff while watching tv…..scrape some paint on some paper and go take a nap…..get the geli plate out and just make 5 simple prints….nothing has to be masterpiece right now…..I know you are used to working from start to finish on a project and spending your time and energy on it til it is completed to your liking……but you just gotta adjust your sail right now.
    I know sometimes when I struggle to find my mojo…..just doing simple things in my studio seems to help……like i will go and check my emails, etc in my studio instead of on the couch……sometimes, i will write in my journal at my studio desk instead of in the living room……I have also eaten my breakfast in there just to get re-aquainted …..other times i have napped on the futon. Sometimes just going in there and cleaning my work space or organized my supplies have helped! All of those little things some times make it more welcoming and less intimidating……as well as letting the studio (and your mojo) know you haven’t forgotten them!!!!!
    You’ll bounce back kiddo! Now go set a timer for 10 minutes…and go do SOMETHING in the studio…even if it’s just sitting and saying hello to your old friends the art supplies….reassure them that they are still loved!
    Big hugs and prayers of healing coming your way!
    Luv ya Linda


  5. Wendy
    Jun 09, 2014 @ 22:56:56

    Hey there. I think the mojo-free version will be just fine for awhile 🙂


  6. Tricia
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 05:21:29

    Sorry to hear you are having problems and I hope you can be well again soon.
    Good advice from Linda. Small steps may give you a boost. I was going to suggest you just take out some paint and play. Don’t try and paint anything special. But gelli printing might be the ideal thing to start with. Watch some stuff on YouTube that might interests you. I like to watch Jane Davies videos. She always has something interesting to try. Anyway, my best wishes to you and lots of white light coming your way. Take care of yourself…..


  7. Emie
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 07:50:13

    ((((((((KIM))))))))))…. Sammie Kira has a couch box….. a few art supplies she can have by her side just for days when she can’t be up and about…. it may be something you cold try…. sending healing vibes your way.


  8. marjiekemper
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 09:14:41

    Sorry to hear this, Kim! Hoping Mr Mojo comes ’round again soon. Maybe just do something small, like ATCs… sometimes I find starting small frees me up.


  9. Felicia Aaron
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 10:44:09

    Oh my goodness Kim…so SORRY for all your mishaps! I pray you are fully restored back to health and your “mojo” gets back on track! Take care of yourself, that’s the MAIN thing! I think sometimes we ALL just need to rest and free our minds of the added stress that we all seem to put on ourselves for demanded creativity! Take some time for YOU and I just KNOW Mr. Mojo will come a knockin!


  10. katgale
    Jun 10, 2014 @ 20:35:00

    Hi Kim: so sorry to hear about your health problems. Hope you find a definitive answer soon. Sounds like your stress level is higher than your creativity. I know how hard it is to be creative when other things are pressing. It will return in it’s own good time. I agree to doing small projects like maybe doodling or zendoodles. That seems to work for me. Good luck on the new house – exciting!


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